An English phone salesman and a famous French photographer.
What could an English twenty-something phone salesman and a famous French humanitarian photographer possibly have in common? As I was attending an exhibition and film about the life of Robert Doisneau recently in Nice, France, I was reminded of an ex who had the same philosophy about life — and it’s something that as live-in carers we can face as a challenge every day.
Of course, some people are so much better at practising what they preach and some of us still struggle.
So what was the scene in the Robert Doisneau film that prompted my memory, and how does it apply to carers?
Robert is in a typical Parisian café with a friend. The friend is shocked by the waiter who has apparently been rude to Robert. The friend asks Robert: “Did you hear him? Aren’t you going to say anything?!”
Cool as a cucumber, Robert replied: “Why — are you going to live with him?!” Many in the audience laughed out loud, me included.
In other words, how many times do we react and comment when something is said, when really ‘let it go’ is the best option? My young friend in his twenties in the 1990s was fond of reminding me not to overreact. He was so right. Both these guys had a fiercely independent spirit and wouldn’t settle for just making do when making the most of life was always an option.
How will we feel when some young thing (often 70+) comes in with wonderful tales of adventure when we are in our dotage? So, here’s the thing. When someone says something seemingly to be unkind, it’s more about them than you — and staying in the moment without reaction, then changing the subject, is often the best way. I guess overall, it’s mindfulness of the situation and pausing long enough to let it go over your head.
There was one other interesting observation that Robert Doisneau made in the film Through the Lens (Robert Doisneau, Le Révolt du Merveilleux).
So… the client may be all cosy armchair by the fire, surrounded by photographs of grandchildren, but if you could pan out and back over a lifetime, it could be a very different story. One you may never know.
The beauty of his work is about everyday life. He loved to wander through crowds, preferably unobserved, and capture simple but often special moments. His work is enthused with love and humour. I would love to have met him. As we nearly all have phones with cameras these days, capturing similar shots is easy if you have the desire.
And this brings me to the astute observation that Doisneau made about age and photography.
Picture postcard perfect.
I took this photo earlier this year but now it reminds me of this comment. A picture postcard moment — but the photo has been cropped by me. The original (see below) shows the bigger picture, and the close-up is something very different. Both are true but represent totally different aspects, which can relate to life in general.
His friend observed the detail in a photograph taken by a young protégé. Robert’s response was: “That’s because he is young — as we get older we see the bigger picture.”
So… the client may be all cosy armchair by the fire, surrounded by photographs of grandchildren, but if you could pan out and back over a lifetime, it could be a very different story. One you may never know.
Remember: don’t take things personally, and bear in mind the bigger picture.
